I've discovered something about myself.
Ever since Henry was born, I haven't had a lot of time for myself. Between a baby, work, Phil and his dissertation, Phil and his dad... I don't have a lot of extra time. Or any. And any spare time I have, I try to sleep. Or do laundry. More than likely, SLEEP.
But I feel like I am needing something. While I LOVE being a wife and mommy more than ANYTHING. But it can't be all that I am. And now that Henry is starting to have a slightly better sleep schedule and I feel like I am starting to get mommy-hood figured out, I think I have the time to do some more things.
I feel like I need something. An outlet. I have been doing a lot of thinking about what exactly that should be. I want to create. I want to learn.
My day job constantly requires me to learn. The more I learn, the more I know there is to learn. But I need more than that.
I used to have so many outlets. I used to blog almost everyday. I would take pictures, sewing, crochet, cook, exercise. I miss it. It's time to do a few of those things. I can't do all of them as much as I did before. And I am ok with that. Henry's kisses are so much more fun than sewing. But after he is sleeping, I need to do something. For me.
I need it. It's time.
I have a few ideas. I have started a list. Here are a few things from my list:
- Do an online photography tutorial. Brittany recommended this one. I want to be able to take good pictures of my family without it costing an arm and a leg.
- Learn Spanish. I got the Level 1 Rosetta Stone for my birthday a couple of years ago. I never went through it though. You wanna know the reason? I was embarrassed to have Phil hear me pronounce things incorrectly. The guy has seen me through a couple of surgeries, through being extremely hypothyroid, larger than life pregnant (I almost weighed more than he did at one point), give birth, and postpartum. But I still get self-conscious around him. I don't get it.
- Do a sewing project. I have one in mind. I don't want to share the details until I actually get it done though.
- Run. I know this isn't creating or learning, but I have had this HUGE desire lately to just RUN. I know this would be EXTREMELY painful, since I haven't exercised in who knows how long. I'm thinking I might start going to the gym on my lunch break. I wouldn't go to run. That would be gross. But a little weight lifting would be a step in the right direction.
I know these things will take time. Especially since life is REALLY up in the air right now. A terminally ill parent, grad school, and a baby have to take top priority right now (not in that order). But when I can, I think I will start working on my list.